Have you taken the time out from what you are doing and noticed those around you? Have you ever sat there and really observed others?
Have you ever sat in an airport or at a busy train station or in a huge department store surrounded by hundreds of other people? Have you ever watched as they move in line, go from place to place, stand there alone, or talk and interact? Have you perceived that loud person in the line before you? Have you looked at that quiet unknown entity standing in front of you? Or have you just stood there silently in your own realm, in your own physical and mental space?
I am sitting at my desk.
The room is filling with people. Some are smiling, some are talking quietly while others appear garish,extremely noisy in their interactions as they enter the doorway and find a seat. Others are just there in silence, not really noticing what is going on around them as they look down at their hands, as they quietly read that magazine flicking quickly through the boring pages.They are kept busy in their own world of solitary isolated communication.
Who are these persons, these strangers? What stories do they have to tell? Who are these people that are here in my own life for this significant period of time?
Did you know that ‘people watching or crowd watching’ is officially known as the act of observing society and their interactions? It usually takes place without their knowledge. It involves picking up on idiosyncrasies to try to guess another person’s story. This can include listening to their speech in action, observing their relationship interactions, viewing their body language, their expressions, even their clothing. (Listening to what they say is also part of this ‘watching’ but is generally known as ‘eaves dropping’ and generally not an ‘approved’ strategy!)
For some, crowd gazing is also considered a hobby. They do it regularly. They can see how people act in specific settings with many or few others around them. They can see what interest others by the things they look at if they are in a store, or what they are reading, or how they act as a parent. They try to figure out the type of person they are watching, just by seeing what they do and how they act. They observe their interactions and guess their personality; they guess their story. But for many others it is purely a subconscious activity they partake in everyday without even realizing. And it something you can do without even knowing you are doing it! Do you know it requires no new skills or tools of trade. It only necessitates your focus and discreet non-judgmental observation.
I am often amused by an American weekly criminal show I view, where the main characters meet someone who will become involved in the plot of the main story. However, before they establish this fact, the main characters verbalise imaginative stories about these ‘newcomers’ to the viewer. They create ‘lives’ about the stranger’s past, their future, and importantly, their present. Of course this is all unrelated to the actual content of the storyline, as it is usually completely fictitious and nowhere near the ‘truth’. But to me, it is an important part of observation, as it creates another imaginative world belonging to that person and gives me a sense of ‘knowing’ them.
Albert Einstein said, “Imagination … is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited but Imagination encircles the world.”
To imagine is to tell a story … of creating a narrative, in which the exactness of the chosen words is the fundamental factor to “evoke worlds”… of involving yourself in another world without staying there. To imagine is one of the greatest gifts of intellect. It is a whole cycle of image formation or any sensation as it takes place without anyone else’s knowledge. It is the ability to imagine things that are not real to you, to form a picture of something that you have not seen or yet experienced; to think of new things that only exists in your mind. It keeps our dreams and thought processes alive! And in observing the world around us, the greatness of imagination comes from all those within it.
As we observe those individuals before us, in the same airport, in the same store, in the same room, the same customer-driven office as us, think about all those personalities with diverse skills and backgrounds, drawn from every discipline to function in a common purpose, to be where they are in that particular space and time. To be where you are.
Like that obnoxious woman standing there with a small child in her arms, making loud, almost abusive demands at the desk, demanding to be seen NOW and, no, she was not going to go anywhere. What story did she hide? Why is she so loud, so demanding, what past instances in her life instigated this abuse. Was she as child/teenager always picked upon? What factors have contributed to her ordering of others and making excessive demands upon those in front of her… or was she always indulged her entire life and likes to have her own way?
Like the two children who are sitting at the feet of their father, loud, playful, happy chaos there around them but it is somewhat controlled chaos. Their lives at home were probably the opposite, ordered, immaculately dressed, perfect manners, serene, sedate, perfectly controlled by their parents. Ah- maybe this gentlemen is not their father, but a servant who is indulging them to be children because he knows once he leaves, then painful, uncaring order returns to their lives.
What about that sweet little old women who is worried about paying her bill due to lack of finances, how lovely she always speaks, how gentle and sweet she is, how well dressed in what she wears and is always apologising. What secret life does she hide? Or is she in another role, in disguise as a spy, the immaculate James Bond type of woman-spy, sourcing information from the business opposition?
That solitary teenager who is sitting there looking bored and watching the clock, sighing loudly. Where should he be instead of waiting here with me? Is he a singer in a famous band, is he an academic scholar working on his PHD? Is he hiding something sinister in his bored looks?
What about that man who comes on strong about his religion, filling your quiet world with what you should be doing and not pausing once for breath as he stumbles in late. Perhaps he is the star of an evangelical television series? Do I recognise who he is? Should I be fervently listening to his every word, hanging on his rambles and ramifications? Or does he hide a split personality that I have to work out from his rambles?
Or that beautiful woman who is simply sitting there, quiet, insignificant. But you see her constantly watching the door and her eyes are flicking quick glances to the opening object each time someone enters. Who is she waiting for? Is it her lover, her husband? Was she worried the two might meet unexpectedly in this same solitary space as her?
Whatever the stories that come to mind, to ‘imagine’ helps us to make knowledge applicable in solving problems. It is also fundamental to integrating experience and learning processes. This ability to imagine yourself in another’s place, to imagine their life, their story, their calmness, their understandings, their fears and trepidation is so important to social relations and empathy. Importantly, imagination in its connected world of observation, assists in helping us to empathize, to sympathize; to understand other viewpoints aside from our own.
I am sitting again at my desk. I am watching the people before me. You know, their world is so different to mine. Their story is so different to mine. I have my own world of thoughts of interactions, of communications with others that do not exist in their world. My specific private world does not envelope their dreams, their risks, their fears, their hassles, their joys. Theirs do not exist in mine.
The room is now filling with people. Some are leaving, some are entering through the doorway. Some smile at me, some are laughing openly as they banter with others. And there are those who look fearfully around the room, seeking reassurance, seeking to connect. I slowly observe all participants in this small basic room. And I connect with them as I try to ‘know’ their story.
I stand, and I smile as I speak.
“Ms Smith, the doctor will see you now”.