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Last weekend, my staff were treated to a few hours’ treatment at a local health spa. It was something that we had not done before, something that we probably could not afford either as a group, but we were given this wonderful opportunity to take part in this full body retreat and enjoy some personal ‘R and R.’ Prior to this event, in the few days before, everyone was chatting about how much they were looking forward to this day, to this ‘indulgence’. The day was of course a truly special one, and all staff were most appreciative of the time given for them in those individual few hours, in return for the past few years (pre and post covid), given to others in their role at work.
Did you know that the word thank comes from the Latin “tongere?” It very loosely means to acknowledge what somebody has done for you – hence where we get the term “thank you” from.
Many social commentators bemoan how rude people are in modern life. And in particular they despair about how humans neglect to be grateful. While our parents or whoever bought us up, may have impressed on us to have good manners and say please and thank you, this was for a very good reason because nothing makes a person feel better than an earnest thank you. We say thank you for gifts, thank you for special favours, and thank you for assistance in times of need. Both Religious and Non-Religious people say Thank you to God for events that have happened. But it is not only the big things where a thank you matters. It is also in the small everyday things.
Think about those small times where we say a simple thank you. Like as we are handed our change in the store, or when someone holds the door for us, someone who lets us go through that door first, or to the ticket person who gives you your bus ticket. What about that thank you to the person who simply passes you the salt or pepper at dinner, or to your partner at the end of the day for the lovely time you have had together. It’s a phrase that is pretty much ubiquitous. But one that is never unwelcome and can mean so much because saying thank you is an everyday etiquette and a simply courtesy that takes just a moment. It costs nothing, not even effort. But it is also one of the most important ways in which we interact with others, both those closest to us and those with whom we have contact for the briefest of times. Taking time to think about the smaller things in life and thank the people around us for what they do can make a tremendous impact on not just our own lives, but the lives of everyone around us. For me, on a personal note, I always ensure that with each of my staff members at the end of the day I say thank you for their time and energy given. It is not a habit- but just an expression of how I truly feel. I am thankful for what they have done that day to enable efficiency of the task at hand.
But just why is it that saying thank you is so very important?
Why do we feel so hurt and let down when someone doesn’t thank us?
Isn’t it just an empty ritual? A meaningless reflex??
Stop and think, how many problems or resentments stem from someone thinking that people take them for granted? Whether at work, with friends, or among family, not saying thank you often enough can poison the well of good relations faster than anything. The fact is that ‘thank you’ has something truly magical about it. Yes, it is just two words, but they definitely act as shorthand for so much more. ‘Thank you’ shows our appreciation and conveys our gratitude. But more than that, it is a sign of respect to the person who has helped you (or given you something). It is an indication you do not take them for granted, and an acknowledgement that they do matter.
At the end of our few hours together at this spa retreat, each member of staff expressed their own personal thank you to me. Yes, sourcing the funding and the other organisational aspects of this time for my staff was my responsibility and my role and I too was part of this pampering, and I truly enjoyed my own cossetted time. However, as I said to my husband later that night, I could honestly say, even if I was not an integral part of the day, and only sat outside to read a book and wait for them all to be indulged, I would have been happy. Why? Because I gained more pleasure and gratification seeing and feeling each person’s gratefulness, their joy, their own appreciation for what had happened. Receiving each staff members individual thank you, gave me more happiness than the spa treatment I actually received. I guess I could genuinely say I glowed more from those encounters than the beauty products I absorbed!
We do not always have huge events in our life that we have to be thankful about. Neither do we need to have someone say thank you to us. Rather it is the daily small aspects of our lives, the simple things we are most appreciative of and by saying these two simple words to another person, is a most powerful and essential social exchange. It benefits both the giver and receiver, fosters positive relationships, and contributes to so much more. It’s a small shift in perspective that can make a significant difference in yours and others overall well-being and the way you interact with the world around you.
There is a song by Secret Garden called ‘Thank you”. It reflects so many of my thoughts – in particular about what I am blogging about today. Thank you for the Mondays, Saturdays and Sundays, Everyday, the whole year through; Thank you for the fun days, All those number-one days, Battles-to-be-won days, too; I just want to say it, Thank you for each day with… you.
So, to end this blog, reflect on where you have recently said thank you to another as a common courtesy? Or where you have felt genuinely thank you to someone for something they did, or for just being there for you. Both are just as important.
Thank you for doing that!
And…..
Thankyou for reading and sharing my blog- that truly means a lot!