Do you know that it is almost two months since my last blog! Such a gloomy situation! Not the normal period for me as I love writing and it is always such a thrill to share my words with you! I know I attempted to sit down and write my thoughts as the occasion hit me several times, but my tired brain and body said ‘tomorrow’! And of course, tomorrow never came! (I do think there is a song like that). ‘Life’ and its busyness has simply taken over since we returned from our wonderful six weeks over December and January away overseas! So here I am, it is Easter Monday. The long weekend is over, and I am sitting here outside my house, enjoying the fresh air and beautiful sunshine and I am writing. Nine weeks from my last blog to finally share my thoughts with you!
Yes, life has been extremely busy.
As the cliché says, we hit the ground running. Stepping off the plane from the chilly winter chill of minus 38 in Canada to a heat wave of +38 in Australia was an interesting concept… to say the least. I can certainly say the winter chill melted right away as the intensity of the heatwave we endured on our first week back permeated through our skin! What a shock to the bodies human system as we migrated from the much-loved needed warmth of fires to the chill of air conditioners!
And yes, as expected work has consumed me! Even though I tried hard to not let it, it did!
Do you know how funny it is how we are constantly on the go doing things, getting things done. I mean think about it, you go from the beginning of year in the blink of an eye, but where does that time go? We have been home for over two months; this Easter weekend is over, and I think about what has been achieved in this past small– yet considerable period. But where did the time go? When did that time matter?
It feels as though once I get one task accomplished it is expected to fulfill the next. I finish one project or assist one person, sort out a few problems, answer phone calls, read those never-ending medical attributed emails, and respond, design staff and obstetrics hospital rosters, work through the various rosters re payment, training, and duties, attend meetings face to face meetings or online webinars myself, write a small number of submissions, press save , breathe and the next responsibility begins. Add to all this, many at work and at home business discussions, entering calendar events for my husband for the whole year to ensure we don’t forget anything, engaging with new doctors beginning at our practice, an existing doctor leaving us, changes within our financial business structure of the Medical Practice, becoming a zoom computer widow for two evenings each week due to a course my Dr Husband is convening for the next month or so and too many other business concerns I am sure I have forgotten to mention!
Do you know that Computers, Emails, SMS, Video Chats, zoom meetings and webinars that are such a huge contribution to society are also a major taker of time to our work life and home life. These little things in life to assist are a blessing and a curse at the same time. They can either make or break your day with their messages and there really is not an in between. Align that concept with the normal hectic schedules consisting of wake up, get ready, go to work, work, eat, come home, walk dogs, wash, clean, and so on, I must truly contemplate about how to find time to simply just stop and think.
Don’t get me wrong. I am not complaining. I sincerely love my role as Practice manager of a busy General Practice but at times, it seems to be a never-ending cycle. After all, think about it, by the time most of us have undertaken the lengthy list of daily tasks, we are simply too exhausted or too tired to sit down and reflect over our day. Some days I go home and honestly, I couldn’t tell you what I had for lunch, not to mention what I accomplished in my busy day! We occupy ourselves with daily activities to the point that we simply climb out of the mounds of papers and activities to complete, to crawl into bed out of pure exhaustion.
In these past nine weeks of ‘work busyness’, I have also been busy and tired emotionally.
The month of February incurred the unhappy knowledge that a young family member had a form of cancer and not sure she would survive as she had been so sick, (thankfully she has). In these same past few weeks, learning that a close friend had a medical condition upset me. Even though this is curable and not an elevated risk, of course it still affected me psychologically! Dealing with other family issues and concerns on both sides of the trees. Add to that in March, it had been 18 years since my first husband passed away from cancer, it would have been his 67th birthday , the memories of his time with us as a family, the reminiscences of his passing, reading my daughters comments on Facebook missing her dad….feeling this emotion intensely , and even more so this year, because my best friends husband passed away only a few weeks ago and the two males of this friendship were best mates. The four of us did so many things together when we were all alive and well! Supporting my best friend walk through this emotional time while dealing with my own feelings of memories of the past, certainly added to that emotional tiredness and nothing to do with work! And last, but not least, realising that although we talk every day by SMS or by phone or through family weekly video chat, I have only physically seen my daughter once face to face since we had returned, and my son not at all face to face since Christmas! Not a good thought! I miss their hugs! I miss my grandchildren; I miss all of them!
So, yes, when I reread my words above, I can see my life has been extremely busy since we have returned from our much-needed vacation away from life. But in that busyness and more to come, I must remember that sometimes it is the trivial things that happen in the day that make what I do, what I say worthwhile! Because some of those unimportant things that happen throughout my day can make a significant impact and only take a small amount of time. To stop and with another cliche…to smell the roses and not only smell them but to enjoy their scent!
Such as when I help a friend or family member work out a problem or are there just to let them vent. Or when I assist a colleague or work friend to sort something out. Or to only be a sounding board to chew over the problem and assist with a solution. Sometimes the problem is not solved but I know I have given them time to talk to me about it.
Like when I smile and wave at all the familiar faces, I see throughout the day both at work and at home. Smiling as I walk up the hallway to those familiar faces I see as part of my work life, knowing that they like to see me and to chat with them in a friendly fashion. Or to just give a simple smile, a small hello, acknowledging their presence. Or to simply reminisce with a family member or friend or quite often, laughing at a joke or cartoon with a colleague/staff friend at work, is one of those moments to remember more than the busy daily routine of “everything else “I do.
Like at the end of my busy day, breathing in that fresh air as I accompany our two golden retrievers on their walks, or patting their heads as they slide their big furry nose onto my keyboard stopping me from writing. Or sitting and playing my grand piano, singing occasionally when the feeling hits me. Of knowing that wonderful feeling of sometimes snuggling up to my husband on the couch watching mindless TV at the end of our busy days (as we both nod off to sleep) to eventually retire to bed to wake up to a brand-new day full of whatever happens in my busyness!
To be Thankful for my busyness and my life! That I am more than capable, physically, mentally and emotionally of being busy!
Yes, I know this sounds so philosophical, but because my time is cluttered with work, activities and social networking crammed into every waking moment, it is important to know in that busyness, a small amount of time somewhere is also needed to enjoy the smaller important aspects and moments within my life. To know, I can enjoy life and be happy too when I am extremely busy!
So, in the same spirit of the same philosophical guise, I guess the only way to end this blog is to ask you if your tomorrow never comes… what do you want to be remembered by?
Your work role? Your busyness and productivity? Your Quality time given to things?
Your family? Your sharing time,
Your positivity?
Your smiles, your laughter, your tears, your compassion?
Your love of life?
What do I want to be remembered by?
I hope I am remembered for all those things and so much more!
But until ‘that tomorrow comes’ I will now return to the hustle, bustle of my life, and say to you
“ Talk soon…hopefully not too long between blogs this time!”
Well. I can only try!!!