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Don’t be afraid of the ‘old’, of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don’t have to live forever, you just have to live.” ― Natalie Babbitt, Tuck Everlasting
It has been quite a few weeks since I have written in my blog. Life has been too busy … which always interrupted the things I wished to do and that is very sad! There is so much that has happened in each day that I cannot remember them all. But what I have discovered these past few weeks is that ‘Life’, in its entirety, is about the new and the old!
Prominently, the ‘old’ has been and gone and presented sadly in the form of death. Regrettably, we have had patients pass away in these past few weeks, some due to simply the passing of time. They were relatively old and their age meant they were ready to walk through that door and complete the life they knew here. However, death presented itself unexpectedly to one which was quite surprising because this person was not old. Sometimes life brings unpleasant surprises!
Even in my own family, age and oldness of time has become a prominent aspect of family life. Family conversations often now dwell on what ‘oldness’ means, not just to those so afflicted, but also for those who care about those older family members.
But as written by De Seuss “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” Life is still going on!
In contrast, the newness of life has been seen in many different ways. Of course, instantly come to mind are the birth of new babies, which my husband in his professional role has attended – most recently three in one day. Yes these are definitely new experiences. It is so wonderful to hear about the birth of a new born for a new mother…and to remember back to when it was your turn to experience the pleasure, the excitement and the fear of having this new little life in your hands. To see this new person, with new dreams before her/him, of not knowing anything about the age of life as we know it yet! Oh yes, that was definitely the newness of life! But other ‘new’ experiences that have occurred in these past few weeks also come to mind.
For example I have had the pleasure of having my two cousins visit. I have always been extremely close to my cousins and even though we are now all in our mid-fifties. As children and teenagers we were always the trio, getting up to mischief, although it was more that I was being misled by my cousin, Narelle. Of course, I mean, I was always the good girl! I simply did what I was told! Quite surprisingly, when listening to the regalia of tales of our fun times, complete with immense raucous of laughter as we conversed of memories and experiences shared, my husband actually turned to me and said….’you always said that Narelle was the leader…somehow, I think you were mistaken! And of course I looked at him with my innocent green eyes, smiling demurely….and replied… “Me….the leader who got us into trouble….never…it was always her fault!” How could he even think that??? Now, those of you that know me can make up your own mind about that concept!
But the experiences of the ‘old’ , intertwined in renewal of those memories of our past dreams and experiences and sharing of those fun times, while at the same time, our making of ‘new’, recent memories in their stay with me now. That is what is special about life…no matter how old we are and what memories are in our past, we can always make NEW ones! We certainly did.
Then there was the ‘new’ experience of seeing my sister dance in public. So – you say…what is new about that? In this world of concerts and dance groups and the conventional, traditional end of year concerts for our children to partake and for parents to view routinely, that is certainly nothing new. But for me, this was a ‘new ‘experience because my sister is 51 years old. She has always been a person who is in her element behind the scenes in organising, a brilliant fund raiser and event maker, but to be there, complete with cabaret costume, dancing, just her (and her teacher), on a stage with 250 people watching….now that was a brand new experience for everyone! My sister was raising money for cancer council which is always close to my heart, having lost my first husband to Malignant Melanoma. I do believe I was one of the loudest audience members who clapped and cheered as she went through her basic routine on that stage. This was not behind the scenes but in front of everyone! I so admired her for her bravery…knowing what kind of person she is. That experience was definitely a ‘new’ one for her, and for me, watching my sister!
New staff at work has also occurred. Our staff unit is a close knit one and to introduce a new staff member to the culture and the practice of ‘our work family’ was definitely another ‘new experience’. As manager, I had to make sure that the newest member did feel welcomed but in return, indicating that also, as part of the ‘new’ staff family, this newest member has to contribute in their own way. You can understand from my perspective that it is considerably hard having new people arrive at work. In the past in our old experiences we have had this happen. ‘New” people can bring a whole new perspective, form and shape to the workplace. However, I am confident this newness will be effective and positive, but I will keep you posted on that!
We also had the pleasure of having a ‘new’ puppy join our home family. Arriving at nine weeks old and watching him grow these past three weeks since he has been with us. Solely perceiving how he swings from intense energy and play and vocalising enjoyment of puppy life, to deep slumber of worn out dreams all within the space of a short time is such an experience. We have so enjoyed visualizing him enjoy ‘new’ experiences like the water in the ocean and watching him discover for himself that rather than being a factor to hurt him, water is wet, cool and a pleasure to swim through while attempting to chase his bigger (dog) brother! Simply understanding that there have been so many new elements for this puppy to take in, in our old world of existence, has definitely been an eye opener. Having a young new dog in our life has definitely revamped the older dog and clearly renewed the human ones’ enjoyment in the household!
The ‘newness’ of life is certainly evident in having a little one share your life for a few days. We had the immense pleasure of looking after our grandson for three days on his own. No parents, just grandson and grandparents with fifty one years between us. (Wow- that seems such a lot when you write it down!) But it was an enormous joy to simply stand back and wonder at him. To think as a mature adult in our ‘old age’ and look at the view of a ‘new’ four year old, of what he saw, of how he thought, of how he did not want to do that, of how it was too scary, of how it was ‘great’, it was a ‘super huge day’ was definitely different. He was so busy with his ‘new’ life, with the amount of energy he expended, how he crashed into bed each night, and how he was cross with us because he wanted to spend four nights with us and it ended up being only two. Even though he was thrilled to see his mum and dad, he realised he did not want to stay home! One lesson in particular in this time with him, we realised between ‘old and new’ was that parents generally have less patience because of the constancy of demands, but heaps of energy to cope with their little ones. We found out that as ‘older’ people we have more patience, but not as much energy! However, we both gained an enormous experience of perspective of life in those short few days with him. We both clearly understand the saying “Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional”. He certainly kept us young!
These experiences these past few weeks in my busy life have been varied. But reflecting on both the ‘old’ and the ‘new’ aspects of incidents has helped me as I write them down to understand, and to continually cherish, what happens and to take in each experience at the time it happens. I am not old, nor am I young but at my stage and age of life, I know now it is really important to do what I enjoy, and in that to give it my very best. I also know that if I don’t like what I am doing, or where I am or the people I am with, it is better to try and change that environment to the best of my resources because life is far too short.I simply want to know the happiness that time and experiences brings and not to merely sit back and count the years as I exist!
So the ‘moral’ of my story today is I guess,without being too philosophical is to acknowledge that the circle of life goes on, as every day, a ‘new’ days dawns with brand new experiences. And with that rising sun, the hours move forward, the sun sets again and that day and all its experiences become ‘old’. But always ,that ‘old’ day passes and another ‘new’ day arrives. In all my experiences, old and new, bad and good I need to embrace them and use them to make my life meaningful.
As my opening quote says…I don’t have to live forever, I just have to live!
See you on a new day!