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As we strive to work through our daily routines, we all take on varying stress levels. We can handle a certain amount of stress while still feeling stable and comfortable, as well as fulfilled. But despite all the planning, scheduling, and multitasking, for so many of us there never seems to be enough of time. Planning a daily agenda during our morning commute to work, paying online bills while walking a dog, checking news while eating quickly or responding to e-mails during soccer or netball practice or while waiting for the bus or train are generally the new norms in our society. We multitask and in that process we run non-stop around the clock, dividing our attention among millions of things, constantly scrambling for more time. Like two weeks ago, my aged mother suffered heart failure and was in hospital for four days. Being with her and also operating in my managerial role at work became the norm for much multitasking in that week I can assure you. Every day can feel a lot like one long rush hour and sometimes it seems like it never stops. It’s not all bad though. The ability to multitask is an essential skill that is very much in demand in today’s busy world. It is what we do! And there are times we do it all extremely well!
But then things happen.
Unplanned, unexpected, and unfair things. And you hit a wall!
I did.
A hard rigid wall.
And down I slid!
My beautiful 13 and half year-old golden retriever died unexpectedly and so quickly. One minute, he was happy running around in our yard and then three hours later he had passed away. I fell apart! I sobbed uncontrollably after making decisions to come home to a house without him. It was so hard. It broke my heart. My dog passing. That wall was harsh and unbending.
Before this huge escalation in tension, stress and grief in our life, months prior we had already planned a 8 day ‘get-away’ to NZ. All planned, booked and paid for. Difficult to move or change. Then ‘life happened’!
Irrespective of the difficulty of changing, I just wanted to cancel it all. I did not want to abandon our remaining, and grieving dog. I did not want to take time for us. This was not the ‘right’ time. The heavens seemed to agree with me. In the short few days after losing our family member, our dog, and leading up to the planned trip away, even more ‘S***’ happened. More calamities that had to be faced, sorted, and resolved in the space of only a few short days. Even in the morning before our planned departure, three major work administrative hiccoughs occurred that required rapid analysis and problem-solving. One a major spanner into planned staffing for the next year. So, I just decided I couldn’t go. I needed to stay. It was all too much. I couldn’t resolve all the work issues and I certainly did not want to leave my baby dog, so soon after losing his big brother. We were both grieving!
But life has a way of nudging you gently and pushing you into the direction you should be taking. I was shoved gently but firmly by our friend, Heidi, our dog’s “daycare” owner. On the morning that we had to leave our only puppy, I was in tears and hugging him. Heidi tenderly embraced me and told me “He will be fine- you have to go- You both need this”.
Our dog needed other dogs around him.
Marc and I needed time.
We left.
Right at this very moment I am in bed. The computer is on my lap, but I can now tell you that today I successfully achieved the first day of 48kms bike rail trail adventure in New Zealand. Did it stop the stressing, the grieving, or the multitasking? Not quite. In reality we were still resolving work issues via internet 30 hours into our 8 days away. I was constantly waiting for videos of our dog from Heidi to be sent to me, just to see he was ‘okay’, communicating with her via WhatsApp just to check! But I was on my bike. I was peddling hard.
I had ‘signed up to/agreed to a leisurely 4-day ride along a 200km long graded rail trail. Is that what I got? No. It was suggested by the bike-hire person that we divert… do something a little different … follow the river to start with. The track by the river commenced as a lovely near flat towpath beside a beautiful river sparkling in the sunlight before degenerating into one of those mountain bike challenge trails you see on TV with narrow bridges and sharp rises and drops. Yes, of course, I panicked – as visions embraced me of me toppling off those narrow edges of (right beside) river track into the fast-flowing surging waterway! No this was not what I had signed up for! But, not like all the challenges earlier this week, I OVERCAME these trials.
Eventually we did get onto the Rail Trail after a stop that included a VERY nice coffee and huge, sweet scone (bribery still works). Now I was following or riding beside Marc on this rail trail, feeling the sunlight on my face and the wind (under my helmet) through my hair. Looking at striking scenery viewing robins and bird of prey flying high above us and now starting to care more about whether my legs would hold out rather than concerning myself with all those myriad things that a multi-tasker fills their brain with. Particularly in the sleepless early hours of morning and daily routines.
But despite those kinds of challenges, I guess I could say that today was the first day of this trip that I have started to unwind. I guess I am initiating the restoration of some of my physical and mental energy. Yes, I still checked work emails for the paperwork required. Yes, I wrote contracts. Yes, I still waited for those videos from Heidi and soaked up emotionally every minute I watched my younger dog.
But I am here.
Taking Time.
Just like Heidi said.
I am not sure what tomorrows 40km ride will encounter…. or how I will feel, but today I Know I have made a start!