This recent Australia day weekend, at a family members citizenship ceremony, we heard a most amazing motivational speaker who used the adage that ‘when life deals you an unexpected set of cards, you have to be thankful that first of all, you are still in the game, and it all depends on how you play those cards.’ Yes, I do agree. Life is a set of cards. Some cards may be favourable, bringing joy, success, and love, while others may present challenges, hardships, and obstacles to overcome. There are aces, kings, queens, normal playing cards and of course the jokers and much like in a card game, whatever hand we are dealt with, it is up to us how we play our cards throughout our game of life.
But this week we were thrown a joker. A black Joker card that threw us and punched up both in the stomach!
For confidentiality reasons it is not something that I can go into, but it was something that neither of us expected to happen! Of course, as that deck of cards, as we knew it, started to wobble, I reacted. I was so emotional, I got angry. I felt betrayed. I felt hurt. Yes, I cried, then although I calmed down, I still felt angry! It was such an unpleasant multitude of feelings released at the one time, by being dealt that particular card. (Just in case you ask…No- I am not sick)!
You know, it is amazing how something as serious and precious as life is compared to ‘playing cards!’ There are so many ways that we use this colloquial phrase. Some days we can feel as though “the cards have been stacked against me” when nothing we try works out or something seems to be blocking our efforts or from achieving goals. I have also heard people say, “I need to play my cards right ” when they want to make the most of certain opportunities present in their life. Sometimes, on a negative note, when we are apportioned that stack or that one unfortunate Joker, it is very easy for our friends or workmates to be philosophical and theoretical to us as they share platitudes like ‘the concept of life as a set of cards emphasising the importance of adaptability and you have to adapt’, or ‘Life is often likened to a deck of cards, each card representing a unique experience, opportunity, or challenge’. Yes, all these clichés swamp us in their well-meaning proverbs.
We know that these adages do assist, but at the actual time of being dealt that card, they don’t actually represent how we essentially feel. What we see, instead is that in front of us is our once well-balanced deck of cards that have come tumbling down to fall splat on the ground! We look at those toppled cards and think…what am I going to do? I certainly did. My cards in front of me were scattered, and I was not sure which one to pick up! I was not sure I even wanted to!
But yes, platitudes and all, I must admit, there is so much to learn from a game of cards.
We cannot control those cards that have been dealt, but we do have the action in how we respond to them. It is in the decisions we make, the strategies we employ, and the resilience we show as we navigate those highs and lows of that hand we have been given. Sometimes we have to work with what is in front of us and trek through that particular hand dealt, hoping the next hand dealt is better! Yes, there are many circumstances that we cannot change but likewise there are many events where we can play an active role and try to influence the ongoing result. No, we cannot change the cards that have been dealt but, in our playing, with the right attitude we can even win or maybe change the game. William Shakespeare wisely said: “Laughing faces do not mean that there is absence of sorrow! But it means that they have the ability to deal with it.” Sometimes the happiest people are not those who have the best of everything. They are those who have made the most of what comes their way. I guess, it is about what card is goign to be played next!
We all have our ‘hands’ to play. What is in yours at the moment? What are your high cards, and your low cards? What do you have for structure . What runs, straights, flushes,or pairs? Do you know what you are going to do with that hand? What is your next play?
But this blog is essentially about our deck of cards.
So in light of all my emotions, how am I going to play my cards this week? I do not really know. I am not really sure!
What I do know is that I have the support of people who reinforced to me last week, that aspect of being my extended ‘family’. But I also know it is going to difficult as I truly do not know what will happen. Nor know how it will affect those concerned or what is seriously going to change!
What I do know is I must try and embrace with grace and courage the willingness to play this particular hand I have been dealt. To continue to smile. As much as I want to complain and whinge, complaining will not change anything and definitely will not solve the conundrum! After all, we all know there is no use complaining or moaning! Who listens?
Theoretically speaking, what I do know is that every card I play from now on, whether it is favourable or challenging, will simply contribute to the mosaic of my unique journey. Like Pollyanna, I will play the ‘glad game’ and look on the bright side of life to do the best I can with this situation! (There is a song that goes like that!) Importantly, I can continue to pray this beautiful prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
I will simply see what happens when I play the next card..whatever that is!
To finish my blog, I would like to end with a little story about a man called Elias.
“Imagine,” Elias began, holding a deck of cards in his weathered hands, talking to the children in front of him, “that each card represents a day of your life. Some days, you’re dealt a king or queen – days filled with joy, success, and love. Other days, you might get a two or a three – days with challenges, hardships, and moments of doubt.”
The children listened with wide-eyed wonder as Elias continued, “Now, the trick, my dear ones, is not in the cards you’re dealt but in how you play them. Life is about the choices you make with the hand you have. Sometimes, you’ll have a winning hand, and other times, a less favourable one. But it’s in the decisions you make, the paths you choose, that the real magic of life happens.”
A young girl named Lily asked, “But what if we get a really bad card, like a joker? “Elias chuckled, his eyes twinkling with a lifetime of experiences. “Ah, the joker – a wildcard in the deck. But my dear, even the joker has its purpose. It reminds us to find humour in the darkest of days, to laugh in the face of adversity, and to not take life too seriously. It is the card to be played in the hand of every person that lies the power to shape your own unique deck of life.”