Yesterday was my daughter in laws birthday. She is a special part of my family. I mean, being married to my son; she really has to be! She has to put up with him! She is a huge part of our family and I value her presence in our family very much.  

Do you know that the word ‘family’ is the only six-letter word in which unconditional love, exasperation, and flat-out feuds can coexist? Sometimes, the only thing we can muster up is, “It’s complicated.” But for all the quarrels and misgivings we may have at times, we cannot deny that there is nothing like family.

A family is defined as a group of two or more persons related by birth, marriage, or adoption who live together. It can be just the two of you, or can be a few members, or a huge cohort. But families, whatever size, boost our confidence and make us feel loved. They can be pillars of our strength and keep us strong. Being part of that family can benefit your physical, emotional, and mental health because what it offers us as human beings cannot be found anywhere else. Through our families, we learn values of love, respect, faith, hope, caring, cultures, ethics, traditions, and everything else that concerns us.

Choosing to be part of a ‘Family’, whatever size, means having someone to love you unconditionally in spite of you and your shortcomings. They will always be the one source of love we will never have to earn; the place we run to for help and comfort; and the ever-steady constant in the inevitable tides of change. It is being the best person as part of that family so that you may inspire your own loved ones. The love of our families at most times sustains us and keeps us going when we need it most, and they’ll celebrate all our victories. They are, quite literally, everything.  

Family is loving and supporting one another even when it is not easy to do so.  No, it is not always easy.  Families can be apart geographically. They can be apart emotionally. Families can be estranged. Families can bring you pain. Sometimes we simply want to walk away. Sometimes we want to “kill them” or “beat them over the head!” They may forget things and hurt you. They may sometimes make you feel like you have been ‘used’, particularly when you go out of your way perhaps physically, emotionally, or financially to do things for them, and not one word of thanks is uttered from their mouths. Perhaps you think it is just an oversight, and what you have to do is try to accept it, move on, and continue. Simply, because being part of a family always means there are differences.

Family means there are different approaches of how their own relationships work, differences of opinion’s, different ways of parenting, different expectations, different styles of doing things. There are things we like and don’t like about each other, and as a family we all perform differently. It is not only understanding but accepting those differences that can be hard.

As hard as it may be to comprehend, feelings of value can flourish only in an atmosphere where these individual differences and perspectives from your own lifestyle and viewpoint, are appreciated. Where communication is open, mistakes are tolerated: and rules are flexible – But being totally honest, as simple humans with individual feelings and emotions, tolerating those differences between family and not only tolerating but understanding and accepting those diversities can be extremely hard.  Believe me, accepting them can be the hardest role as you try rigorously to do so, but sometimes it does not work. Sometimes all you can do is breathe, smile, knowing they are living their way- different from you. Even though it was immense fun , lots of laughter and great times, after recently spending time together for a number of days as a family unit, I am aware of that one firsthand. But that is what being part of my family is about!

I love my family! I love intensely my immediate family. My husband, my adult children and their partners and my grandchildren.

My family is where birthdays are shared. Where Christmas is shared together as much as possible. Where cousins play together, where brother and sister laugh as one, where in-laws meet up again. Where grandparents are with grandchildren, but most importantly, where differences of opinions have been resolved or if not, simply tolerated and accepted.  Above all, it is where laughter reigns supremacy and life can appear to be okay! That is what being part of my immediate family is like.

My family and their individual personalities are all different.  From my husband to my oldest adult child to my youngest grandchild, each person in my immediate family represents different perspectives, different opinions, different ways of doing things.  At times, they do not correlate with my own family belief structures, and we clash. Sometimes I do not like them as individuals for what they do and say, but know, they are “mine” and will always love them!  Unconditionally. 

My family can be hard to tolerate and accept and extremely hard to deal with at times! y family is not always harmonious and clash. But I am not perfect. My family is not perfect. I would not want them to be. How boring that would be. I much prefer at times the unexpected outcome!

But I love them all- every one of them.

Because they are all individual people

Because they are all my family!

And I would not for the world want to be without any of them.