“Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first.”

Lots of people have irrational fears, like spiders, edges of cliffs, snakes claustrophobia……you know things that make you jump, feel hugely uncomfortable, terrify you or just turn you into a blubbering mess for no good reason except they do. We all have them. I certainly do. Personally I actually have a number of them. The biggest one for me is spiders, those insignificant, hairy, eight legged things that are important tin the natural eco system but for me any good spider is a dead spider. I clearly remember in my younger days sitting for hours without moving to watch a spider crawl across the room and wait for my husband to come home to kill it…I was not going anywhere near it. I remember gassing myself as I sprayed a spider with repellent so that it turned white and I ended up green on the couch. When I walk through a web you should see my ‘calm’ reaction as I tear viciously through the strands of my hair trying to get whatever spider there ‘might’ have been in that web out of my hair. I have scratched my legs in the same way trying to get that possible spider off me….not a pretty sight. Yes all irrational fears.

Then there are the rational fears, the fears that are very real…the things that could actually happen and take you off balance. These are fears like earthquakes, tsunamis, and bushfires and of course crocodiles. Not just those silly American alligators, but the saltwater Australian crocodiles which can be up to nine metres long and stand one point five metres off the ground and can go up to 15kms per hour on land……no idea how fast they actually swim in the water! Oh, just a little crocodile! Simply an unassuming reptile who is sitting there waiting for your guard to be down…yes , as a white person if you fall into the water your dead. End of story, no ifs or buts, no maybe’s no happy ending…dead! And before we left Kakadu, I was presented with a very real fear as we had the privilege of coming within two metres of a crocodile in its natural habitat!

Now I am the type of person who will look at a rock pool and think that if someone is going to fall off the rock, I would be the one to end up waist deep in water…,I am not a negative person at all, but my simple rational fears escalate in my imaginative mind resulting in me generally visualizing what would happen if it did. So of course today was no exception – when introduced to crocodiles not in an enclosed zoo like structure but right there in front of you…swimming only two metres away from you..watching you from the corner of their eyes…. oh yes, here we go again…..I can see myself falling in and becoming lunch or dinner!

We were introduced to these creatures initially in a morning cruise along the East Alligator River by two aboriginal brothers acting as our guide. (Now I have to pause here and ask why on earth they call it Alligator River when it is actually full of crocodiles?? ).We were also informed by our guides of the various plants and trees and their uses by the aboriginal people and allowed to stop into the forbidden by white people Arnhem Land unless you have permission. These two brothers extended their ‘home to us’ through a short educational stop on the sand dunes of the river, completed with a display of spear throwing sticks, which was fascinating (and hot). They also explained how aboriginal women collect file snakes from the shallows under the pandanus mangroves.

Nothing like being a woman..!! Do you know the younger woman slap the water to scare the crocks away and then wade into the water up to their waist, whilst having an older woman further out in the water watching for crocodiles? They then reach down into the mud, feeling for the snakes, find one, pull it out with their mouth, put the snakes head into their mouth to then pull out sharply breaking the snake’s neck with their teeth. And of course this was while they were standing waist deep in crocodile infested waters. This was seen as woman’s work!
Not this woman- she would have been long gone by then!

But on this trip, we were given our first sight of a crocodile in the river!

I have to admit that I was actually quite terrified, even though I was within the confines of this small boat. We have been told from all concerned, that the crocodiles are very real and to NOT SWIM in the water. There are so many signs that say ” crocodiles- no swimming ” and they are bright red and yellow. So my fear of them has escalated just a touch from simply reading about them or seeing them on the National geographic videos!
On this morning cruise…it was escalated even further, basically because as the crocodile swam beside us, all the people on this small boat were so excited and raced to the side of the boat to take pictures of this creature, and all I could hear as the guide saying….’don’t tip the boat’. Of course it was reinforced by me also repeating it out quite loud as well (without realising I was doing it, until my husband informed me i was )….as my heart thumped so loud and I stayed hanging on tightly ,in my seat gripping that rail! Oh yes, I can see it now- Crocodile lunch here I come!

That same evening we were again within the confines of a small boat for a sunset cruise to view more crocodiles. Once again we were in a boat on a different waterway as we viewed the amazing sunset in this peaceful beautiful natural environment, complete with birdlife and sea eagles and jabirus. It was such a beautiful environment, so relaxing, so calm..and then with my hand frozen to the side of the boat, hanging on tightly to the steel rim which was keeping me from falling into the water, we espied many crocodiles on the banks and in the water watching stalking their prey for the night. This calm quiet environment of these huge creatures engulfed you as the crocodiles slowly glide in the water beside you, submerging their bodies underneath the water and then seeing their head rising languidly up again as their one green eye looks at you intently as you snap that never to be forgotten picture! ( Just look at my photo above- that was the one we saw close to us!) .Many clicks of cameras followed seizing the same opportunity to snap those fearful creatures moment in time, only to then be loudly interrupted by a thrashing of a crocs tail on the side of the boat. Loud shrieks from the passengers moving rapidly away from the side of the small boat were highly reinforced, to be then told by our guide that lurking beneath the muddy swirling water of the Yellow Water Billabong and floodplains were many many many crocodiles that we could not see. Not the kind in Crocodile Dundee for the films, not the kind in the Australian zoo who were in enclosures and fed meat each day….but real crocodiles in their natural habitat. Oh and not just one….numerous.
As I stared down into the muddy water below, they were there just waiting for you to lean just that little bit too far over the edge of the boat or to extend your arm out for that photograph, just that little bit further so they could take you from the boat into their jaws and roll you to death! And as we watched the murky water swirl around us, our guide informed us that if you fell, you had about 5 seconds before a croc got you.
And you know what- he was not joking- he was quite serious!

Tell me again, what am I doing here????
Oh yes, just my kind of “relaxing holiday cruise!”